"Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you."  - Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

when you take all the noise away, isn't the i-ching  basically saying "fuck it, just flip a coin"?

Why are all searchers single?

I've been reading about people on a spiritual journey for years. Know what I've noticed?

They are all single.

Here are some examples: The Alchemist, Siddhartha, Walden, Peaceful Warrior, Journeys of Socrates, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, even Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

Alan Watts said that Zen is a concern of primarily older men who have made their careers and now are turning to a more spiritual aspect of their lives. In India once your family is taken care of and your children are grown it's accepted that the man will take off on his spiritual journey.

I find it disappointing that most people have to wait until they have moved past their most productive years before they can undertake a spiritual journey. During the productive years we are working, raising our children, influencing the world in many ways great and small. It's a shame that we aren't given time for our spiritual needs either before those years or during, when we could have the greatest impact on the world around us.

I think everyone should be given (or take) the time every year to go on a pilgrimage, a two-week retreat at a monastery of their choice, something. Give everyone a chance to be a spiritual being while they are also a productive being.

I think the world would be a better place.

My Father the Accidental Zen Master

I recently visited my father in Virginia. He's almost 80 years old and has many different health problems, one of the worst being his loss of memory.

He doesn't have Alzheimer's, but something similar resulting from complications he had during some of his many surgeries over the years. Nearly everything from the last 40 to 50 years of his life is simply gone.

As luck would have it, that includes me. He has no memory of me at all, not me being born, growing up, getting married, having kids, none of it.

On the positive side this kept us from having the same old arguments when I went to visit. He didn't remember anything I'd ever done or said or whether he agreed or not. From his standpoint my past doesn't exist at all.

This left me wondering: Why should I hold on to my past? In the spirit of appreciating the moment, of detachment, all these things, it turns out my father is way better at it than I.

The utter pointlessness of holding on to what isn't there anymore was really brought home to me. This man who had so tightly held on to his own life, mistakes, successes (he counts me as one of those) can now only live moment to moment. My father the Zen master, holding no grudges, resting on no laurels, taking everything exactly as it comes and responding to it.

I pointed this out to him while I was visiting and he kind of laughed at how ironic it was. Now, of course, he doesn't remember the conversation at all. He's still living in the moment :).

My daily reading list

I thought I'd share what I read daily. I'm a big reader anyway, but I've found a few books that give me the right start to the day.

(Note: all the links below are affiliate-free)

365 Tao, by Deng Ming-Dao
Living the Wisdom of the Tao, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
The Upanishads, translated by Eknath Easwaran
Peace Is Every Step, by Thich Nhat Hanh
As You Think, by James Allen
Small is the new big, by Seth Godin

Each of these books has a great message and the entries lend themselves to one-a-day kind of reading. Gives me time to think and process them.

What are you reading? I'd love to hear about it in the comments.

Compassion and Accountability

I read all the time about having compassion for the plight of murderers and thieves.

The argument goes something like this: "They are products of their environment. They don't know any better. They didn't have the same opportunities as others. We must be understanding and compassionate."

I agree that understanding and compassion should be basic parts of our lives.

What about accountability? If we say no one knows any better than where they are at in a given point in their lives, we can be compassionate. If that person is a child molester, murderer, thief, they may not know any better.

All these people have victims, though. How do we hold the offender accountable when accountability is passed on beyond their control?

I believe you can have understanding for a person without condoning their actions. I also believe that when their actions cause harm to another, they should be held accountable whether they are self-aware enough to know they shouldn't have done the action. Otherwise how can any type of social order be maintained?

How do we reconcile these two contrasting ideas?

Become a modern sage

Ancient sages lived in forests and

Wandered from village to village,

Sharing openly, teaching the people

Without profit or ownership.

- Sage, from 365 Tao Copyright ©1992 Deng Ming-Dao, published by Harper Collins

Please visit the incredibly gracious Deng Ming-Dao at dengmingdao.com and livingiching.com

It's tempting to think "That was easy for them but no one gives anything away anymore." Let's check more recent history and what's happened since.

Ben Franklin and his friends started the first lending library from their own collections.

Andrew Carnegie set up libraries all over the country.

MIT created their MIT Open Courseware program that allows free access to 1900 courses and counting.

Wikipedia facilitates easy information sharing all over the world.

Seth Godin advocates giving your knowledge (art, in his words) away for free in his new book Linchpin.

Thanks to the internet, sharing what you know has never been easier or cheaper.

What are you waiting for? Become a modern sage and do your part to make the world a little smarter and a little wiser.